Testicle Elephantitis Man Wins Treatment Fight
A man suffering from Elephantitis of the testicles has won his legal battle after being denied special treatment by the NHS.
The man, identified only as Patient X (-tra large?) to protect his anonymity, had been denied special ‘castor and frame’ surgery unless he paid for private treatment, and instead issued with what his solicitor described in court as “a glorified wheelbarrow and some anti-chafing cream”.
3 High Court judges ruled in Patient X’s favour, returning a verdict that “his quality of life greatly suffers from having to push his testicles around in what amounts to a garden wheelbarrow. Denying him the right to surgery, even though it is expensive, is a clear breach of his rights under the European Human Rights Act”.
Patient X will now receive the costly ‘castor and frame’ surgery with NHS funding. The surgery involves attaching several small wheels to his 7lb scrotum, and attaching a framework to it that will support the weight. His scrotum will, in effect, have a trolley built around it, and bolted firmly into his testicles.
Speaking on behalf of the National Health Service, Patricia Hurlbut said that they had no plans to appeal the decision, and wished Patient X success in his surgery.
Seperate cases brought by Patient X, in which he alleges doctors referred to him as “the human spacehopper” in their notes, and discussed attaching cushions to his scrotum and using him for a waiting room sofa, are still pending.