No wonder that goddam penguin is always smiling – an official survey conducted by influential magazine “Girlz Who Gamez” has revealed that Linux using males have larger penises than their Windows using counterparts.

Porn loving windows users are being warned to exercise caution as the ‘Dumfukker’ virus, which blackmails users into paying a fee to avoid having compromising footage posted on social networking sites, spreads.

Users of pirated versions of Windows 7 may be in for a nasty surprise as a new Windows update seeks to strike back against unlicensed versions.