Former Education Minister in the Labour Government, the unfortunately named Ed Balls, has been revealed as a genetic clone of a leading Nazi in what is sure to be another disaster for the embattled Labour party.

At first glance the wives of famous sporting superstars may seem to have it all, but perhaps not for much longer. Football has always been a cut throat world where the very best can earn a fortune, and where every edge could make the difference between glory or defeat, and now genital reduction surgery is fast becoming the new edge.