On Friday the 25th of June , 2010, reports came out from an undisclosed location about an incident involving old age pensioners, scat porn, and a cinema somewhere in Northern East Anglia.

An elderly care centre had decided to take a number of it’s local residents for a curtious night out at one of its local cinemas for recreational purposes. By all accounts it seems that one of the cinemas technical workers with a particuarly dark sense of humour had decided to cut out sections of the advertised feature Maru Maru (a classic Errol Flynn feature) and replace portions of it with extreme scat porn.

As it is easy to imagine many of the elderly individuals were disgusted and baulked violently at the site of such heinous imagery.

One elderly lady who was sipping tea and dunking ginger nuts had to be rushed to a nearby hospital via ambulance after her dentures had become lodged half way down her throat. By all accounts the lady is now in full recovery although the psychological scars may take much longer to recover from.  One of the residents who will remain nameless has been quoted as stating “Some of us faught in the bloody war, we dont deserve to be treated like this, we were going out for a quiet night at the cinema and some burk does this to us. Really they should bring back the death sentance”.

“Monty wouldn’t have given up!” said another witness who apprently fought in the SAS during the war years, “Many of us are old but we can still kick arse!” he said with a  definite fighting spirit. Many of the other elderly individuals are being counselled but are said to be dealing with the situation well.

At this point in time it is not clear as to who the culprit of the incident is exactly, all information we have at this point is that it was someone with the beginning initial W. It has also been said, although not confirmed that there was a picture of a smiley hermaphrodite left on the projector but again it is unconfirmed as to whether this was some kind of ‘calling card’. Local police authorities are taking the issue very seriously and are urging anyone with information to come forward as soon as possible. We can only hope the W will not strike again.