Opponents of the Hadron Collider, which according to some could create a black hole and destroy all life on earth, received new ammunition today when a fatal accident occurred at the facility.

Although information is vague at the moment, by piecing together the statements of various people, and an official statement made by the facility, it appears that, during routine maintenance, one of the colliders 2 mile long particle acceleration tunnels was accidentally hooked up to the hot drinks vending machine in the staff canteen. Then, in a fatal series of coincidences, the collider was brought online for an extensive test just as an un-named employee used the vending machine to get a mug of chicken soup. Upon pressing the dispense button both he and the vending machine were instantly vaporized into their component atoms.

The facility is now on lockdown whilst urgent investigations and a safety inspection are carried out.

The LHC did not respond to our requests for an interview or for further information, nor would they confirm or deny rumors that a ghostly figure of the vaporized worker had been seen perving at women in the on site shower blocks.

Toby Dercacknik of the action group Stop Hadron In Time – S.H.I.T – was quick to issue an official press release condemning the installation and its lax safety procedures. “We see now how deadly this technology can be” the release said, “First some poor lab jockey ordering soup ends up annihilated, next thing you know there will be black holes opening everywhere, and the earth will be sucked into oblivion. Or we’ll disturb inter dimensional beings who will appear and eat us all. It’s quite possible, they’re tinkering with forces they have no understanding of. When it happens, don’t come running to me saying we didn’t warn you”.