Former Education Minister in the Labour Government, the unfortunately named Ed Balls, has been revealed as a genetic clone of a leading Nazi in what is sure to be another disaster for the embattled Labour party.

Mr (Goe?)Balls, pictured below in full nazi regalia, was part of a bizarre program ran by South Africa during the apartheid years, when government scientists obtained DNA from the remains of dead nazis and sought to resurrect them. To all accounts, they were successful.

He lived incognito for most of his early years, but Ball’s nazi tendencies began to manifest during his time at Oxford university, according to a former pal of his. The pal, who asked not to be identified for fear of reprisals, told us that “Balls would often march through the grounds, singing Horst Wessel or Deutchland Uber Alles, and was once censured for giving the nazi salute during prayers”

“His room was a shrine to the Fuhrer, he even had a swastika flag as a blanket, and was known to joke that he had never made a strategic withdrawal” his pal continued, “Even his teddy bear, Mr Cuddles, had a nazi badge, and was often positioned with his right arm raised”.

Information on which leading Nazi DNA Mr Balls was cloned from remains sketchy, as does whether any other leading public figures are nazi clones. Could our photograph show Hitler the 2nd’s arm, and if so, who is he? In the name of peace we *demand* that all celebrities and politicians with moustaches – including hirsute women – submit to dna testing to prove that they are not Adolf!