28 year old fatty Samantha Jackson of Draycott, Cheddar, today became the first person in England to be served with an ASBO for looking offensive.

Military chiefs have launced an investigation into allegations of so called “buttsniping” orgies among gay soldiers.

Police in Paignton, Devon are hunting cruel pranksters who used a high pressure air pump to inflate a families dog.

34 year old Nigerian Nigel Ugambe, now resident in Birmingham England, made legal history today when the European Court of Human Rights backed his challenge to UK Laws prohibiting animal sex.

Dramatic police raids today narrowly averted terror on a global scale by thwarting an Al Qaeda plot to destroy passenger aircraft using suicide bombers fitted with exploding turbans.

Incontinent Vicar Mark Chuffle, 68, – dubbed the Vicar of Dribbly by cruel parishioners – was back in the pulpit last night after a high court judge ruled he should be reinstated.

On Friday the 25th of June , 2010, reports came out from an undisclosed location about an incident involving old age pensioners, scat porn, and a cinema somewhere in Northern East Anglia.

A 42 year old man from Croyden was rushed to hospital on Thursday after apparently mistaking superglue for lubricant whilst giving himself a prostate massage.

Animal welfare groups have expressed outrage at the new craze of Hamster Boxing that is sweeping the underground animal fighting scene.

Homophobic pranksters in Huddersfield sparked an all out bioterrorism alert this week when they handed out anal lubricant, contaminated with Deep Heat cream, to gay men cottaging in local public toilets.