Health experts are warning against so called “tranny tours” where a man can be implanted with breasts that last for a week, and go cruising in the bars of Brazil and Thailand.

Drunken Leyland Merrill, 31, of Appomatox, Virginia, is lucky – relatively – to be alive today after an angry Opossum bit off his penis and 1 of his testicles.

A horny couple from Leeds made the painful discovery that open air sex could have a sting in the tail when they disturbed a huge nest of bees.

A television documentary searching for ‘the missing link’ in evolution has discovered hobbits alive and well in the USA.

A man suffering from Elephantitis of the testicles has won his legal battle after being denied special treatment by the NHS.

Homophobic pranksters in Huddersfield sparked an all out bioterrorism alert this week when they handed out anal lubricant, contaminated with Deep Heat cream, to gay men cottaging in local public toilets.

71 year old multi millionairre Hubert Chuff, of Miami, became the worlds first recipient of a cosmetic penis transplant recently, when his own organ was replaced with a 12 incher from an African donor known only as “Albert”

Glaxxo, major manufacturer of womens sanitary products, today launched a recall of its new “snugfit” tampon after it was revealed to be coated with an anti-coagulant coating to encourage extra bleeding.

Popular wildlife and childrens TV presenter Michaela Strachan is recovering from a terrifying ordeal after being facially raped by a small chimpanzee called ‘Bamboo’ whilst she was filming the first episode of her somewhat ironically titled new series “Michaelas Monkey Love”

Police agency SOCA took the unusual step today of warning that a huge shipment of rogue cocaine had entered Britain. The shipment, estimated to be at least 500kg’s, is contaminated with a biological weapon believed to be developed in Iran, and will cause uncontrollable shitting in users.