British space development has shown that it’s back on the cutting edge as it launches the “Welcome2all” capsule, a repository of items from 21st century Britain, in the hopes that aliens will find it.

The probe, costing a mere £180million, is designed to give any Extra Terrestrials a taste of life in early 21st century Britain, and to represent our culture at its very best. The items included were chosen by a special interfaith cultural advisory panel.

It contains :

- Signed photos of Justin Bieber, Jedward, and Lady Gaga.
- A Mcdonalds Happy Meal.
- A DVD compilation disk of Big Brothers ‘best’ moments.
- Instructions for accessing Facebook and creating an account.
- A guide to claiming asylum in Britain, printed in 400 languages.
- A four pack of Special Brew lager.
- Footage of Britains greatest sporting achievements (duration 81 seconds).
- An application form for council housing.
- A plastic recycling bin.
- A copy of Katy Prices autobiography.
- Guides to Halal butchery, kebab and curry making.
- A “meat is murder” t-shirt.

Let’s just hope ET doesn’t eat the Big Mac meal, decide we’re trying to poison him, then get pissed on the Special Brew, and cut all our heads off using techniques learned from the halal butchery guide before nicking all the council houses.

Heck, the Big Brother compilation disk alone is enough to justify any alien deciding that humanity is a filthy stain on the anus of evolution and that they should vaporize us with deathrays.

The probe is to be launched from Cape Canaveral, USA, at 2300 GMT on the 8th of August 2010, and uses solar panelling so that it will fly for centuries. Or until it breaks, which will probably be 2 minutes after launch considering the track record of projects that UK governments are involved with.