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Big Brothers Big Lover

Written By Billy Sick

The bosses of TV’s Big Brother series face a mounting backlash over standards as plans are revealed for a final series where contestants can be rewarded with money for having sex with other contestants, and with celebrity guests.

Slated for possible airing in 2011, the new series of the reality show plans to throw “16 bisexual men and women” into the Big Brother house, and offer a £50000 cash prize for the contestant who has been seen on camera having sex with the most other contestants. There is rumored to be a £50000 bonus for the first contestant to have full sex on camera with all the other contestants, and a £10000 bounty prize for the first contestant to sleep with any of the guest celebrities who will be visiting the house.

Television phenemonon Big Brother has often had a reputation for plumbing the depths in order to achieve high ratings, and critics have mused about possible psychological damage to contestants, and this new series is sure to ignite uproar with its casual, laissez faire attitude to sex, and its rewarding of promiscuity.

Well known TV standards campaigner, the Reverend Harry Brighthouse, had this to say : “It’s pure filth, a new low for television. It’s nothing but pornography being passed off as a reality show. Thousands of young people will see this abomination, and think that bisexual weirdos buggering eachother for cash is something to aspire to. Morally, it’s just one of the vilest things I have ever heard. These already sick young men and women are going to throw away their health and their souls for ten minutes of fame”

Endemol, the makers of Big Brother, were not available for comment, although a source close to the production did tell us that condoms and other requisites for safe sex would be made available to contestants, who would also be tested for sexually transmitted diseases prior to entering the Big Brother House, and that the program would be broadcast with a 10 minute delay so that any erections, or aroused female privates, could be airbrushed out in order to comply with British broadcasting laws. An uncut dvd release is almost certain though.

One Comment »

  • nana said:

    Sounds like a good idea for virgins :P And they will “have a good excuse” to DO IT too without feeling embarrassed! :D

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